Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
