My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Pants 0. Shit 1.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
