There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
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