Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
