Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
