I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
