as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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