She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
