i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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