Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
