Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
