We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
