We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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