it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
