there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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