I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
