Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
