He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
