i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
he was CRYING into my vagina
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
