It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
