my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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