why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
