so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
