oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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