Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
we should paint friendship bongs
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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