We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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