was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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