Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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