My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Randomize
