8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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