mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
