i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
