Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
