My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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