I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
