yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
