is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i used baking grease as lip gloss
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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