why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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