The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Sorry my hands just texted you
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
