So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
