oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
