Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
