there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
