Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
