I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
