i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
