well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
