We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
