I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
There r osticjed everywhere
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
