Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
