he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
