We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
